Conscientious Awakening
Sometimes I wish I were able to win
others over to my way of life and thought processes. My convictions were lofty
and noble with a willingness to serve. At one time(2004) I had begun to realize
that my long standing, coping mechanisms were failing me and that the denial of
His illness in which I had operated for nearly 5 years of my life, were causing
more damage than preventing it.
My efforts to handle the situation were
many times met with derision. I knew I had to delve too deep to keep up my
spirits and get my emotional rejuvenation. It would be a worthwhile endeavour. There
were skirmishes and altercations but I held on to myself. My bond with my inner
self cannot be deciphered in words but my loud conversation with the recesses
of heart gave me a life’s lesson of humility and humour.
Now I had a hidden optimism like a
blind man talking about the powers of colours. It was like saying that” Dying is
a very hard way to know about life.”
Unhappy is the women who awakens
from youth’s ignorance to find herself in the house of a man who showers her
with gifts and riches and clothes her with generosity, yet is unable to touch
her heart with the living flame of love nor satisfy her spirits with the divine
wine that should flow from a man’s eyes into a woman’s heart.
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