एक ऊँची उड़ान ! A quantum leap !

हम अपनी कायनात को किस तरह रोशन करें ,

यही अल्लाह से दुआ मांगते हैं ,

रंजिश ही सही ,हम उसे भी गले लगाते हैं ||

बेइन्तहां जो इस ज़िन्दगी  से प्यार करे,

उसकी  रूह जैसे जिस्म से निकलकर कह रही हो,

सम्भालो अपने को,  इस दोराहे पर क्यों खड़ी हो ,

इस दूसरी ज़िन्दगी को अपना लो,

जाने न दो , अपने हाथ फैला लो |

जो हमें अपने लक्ष्य को प्राप्त करने के लिए हमसे रूहानी करे ,

हमें जरूरत है ऐसे  चुनौतीपूर्ण उत्साह की, अब हम क्यो डरें ?

Tracing the mislaid rhythm (the ones I lost on Country Songs) Nashvillle !

I sound like a mythomane, a person with a strong or irresistible propensity for fantasizing, lying, or exaggerating. Consanguinity, I saw a lot of it last year and many of these had their own levels of repercussions and chain reactions. Now I listen to my heartbeats. Dependency on others had become a life style for me and like the upsurge of water creating their own waves in the mighty seas, I had planned for the forthcoming year to sail composedly, withstanding the most of obstructions and hindrances that came my way.

Every year I pledge to be stronger, trying not to adorn a defeatist attitude, but slowly was realizing that at the end of day, I had to take refuge under the umbrella of my own fate. A cataclysm of my emotions inundating my whole being, most of the times pulling me apart, as if to belie my whole worthiness. Hey, I am not trying to bail myself out. There were times when I felt a sense of loss, a disappointment arising from the people I cared. I knew that after a while, I will not want to have feelings anymore. I just wanted to get on with my life without blaming anyone .It was just ludicrous on my part expecting too much from them.

2015 is going to be the year, when I am going to expect the lowest out of the people I thought the highest of and that way I will be saved from a lot of setbacks. My Life needs to be packed with mirth and jollity to help me follow that vital protocol which I have set for myself. So on a lower note, but endorsing the highest essence, I welcome the Year 2015.

(This post was written in Dec 2014 , but has been posted now). It escaped my memory.

Here I go Again !

I am nobody’s yes man, am a No Woman !

Forgotten, when to say I am ready ! Where and when to do the start and the end? If those who say they really are mine, then they sometime have to catch up with me through my trying moments. After all, even if they cared, it’s my journey, not theirs. They fail to pinpoint the righteousness within me, and then it becomes so convenient to handle me wrongly. People love you when you are easy and straight going, but true compassion will strike with anyone only when they hold your hand when you do wrong or maybe at times misunderstood. What's important to me is not others' opinions of me, but what matters to me is my opinion of myself .What to start life with? What kind of hopes in my pockets? I am so befuddled!

Like I have seen it all……….

The time -honoured sunrise and its blazing sunrays-

the sublime moonlight , followed by darkness-

the triumphant sea with its notable fury-

the ascending wind, bellowing gusty storms-

the fascinating humpy mountains and its ravages.

None of these follow any straight, well defined track or trail------

And like them, I don’t wish to walk on an undeviating line, only a conformist or a conventionalist human would do so-----

There is a kind of deep felt desire to do something wild, controversial and be a maverick kind of an individualist, doing something beyond established procedures. Sometimes, when it seems all of the pieces are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place. My journey as yet remains a solo dance, struggling to understand the principles of, emotional and physical detachment  as explained in hinduism, buddhism and probably what it finally entails, moving on like a traveling light to the next world.

I don’t believe in fleeing tedium and melancholy into an impossible world of dreams. I want a roller coaster ride, full of hurdles, of challenges and then I shall know that I have outstripped my adversaries as far as, my own adventure is watched by others and those moments I shall cherish to keep posted for my later years.

A SENSE OF MY POWER !

Having seen my own reflections, eager to understand the stranger within me , I  gave myself the right of self determination.  

Submitting to this Declaration of Persistence, I contemplated that only a super power  could now modulate my verdict .

My moods swung from the summer solstice to the autumnal equinox , but the mind was vibrating, by no means stuck in the tangible snow.

I may not control all the events that happen to me, but had surely decided not to be reduced by them. The big moments were going to come. I just could not help that. It's what I do aftermath that counts. That's when I was going to find out who really I was ?

“I hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures. None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives.” ― Jane Austen, Persuasion

And here I was stuck in the turbulences of my own resolution , hearing the outcry of my charming spirit sans the will power.

Consequently I bullied myself into silence and unfalteringly stepped onto a brand new path where I would not allow me to be made a victim. 

The truth was that my Life was now going to be what I made of it !

The Crow that flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest !

The sooty wings of the Crow fluttered and overshadowed the meekness of the baby Cuckoos, who wailed and clung to the softened skin of their mother’s in their nest.

The crow may have been a second banana to the falcon, but to the cuckoos  , he was humongous and gargantuan.

One tiny drop of helpless tear had to fall from their mother’s eyes  , it had that infinite potential , that all the cherubs screeched out loud in one echoed and deafening sound and ----------------------------that was enough of an arresting signal to the Crow , that soar as he might formidably in the skies, he would never again dare fly over a Cuckoo’s Nest.